Saturday, September 3, 2011

My Arctic escapade





My Arctic escapade is over . 6 months of ice ,desolation and isolation. 6 months of spectacular scenery,amazing natural phenomenons,animals , some tough and some miserable people.
The only exposure to the Arctic I had previously was through National Geographic magazines
and TV. Thus before my departure to Iqaluit I had conjured up ideas about the Arctic were based on those documentaries and pictures. I was expecting Polar bears and seals everywhere. I knew almost all the communities were on the edge of the sea, so Whales and Seals would just popup at random places and I would see polar bears pouncing on them. I would see igloos for houses and perhaps have a chance to live in one of them. I knew modern houses would be there but I never thought I would not see a single igloo that would be livable. The only igloo I saw was made by the students of the Nunavut Arctic College as a project, lest they forgot how it was to be Inuit !!! and I did not see a single live Polar Bear. I saw countless skins though !!

Iqaluit is the capital of Nunavut with a population of about 6000. How could a town of 6000 be a capital ? That was answered when I first landed there on a surprisingly long airstrip . Iqaluit was formally known as Frobisher Bay and was a US military airbase till they invented ICBMs and no longer needed to maintain it against the Soviets. The local Inuits who had settled in and around the airbase remained there and now its known as Iqaluit.

The temperature was -60 Degree Celsius when I landed , this was the coldest I had ever experienced. I did not know how my body would react to such cold and it didn't react any different other than my nose went dry and constantly twitching.

I felt the roads were surprisingly smooth until one day I saw about 4 inches of solid transparent ice just beneath the dry snow.

I quickly made friends in every circle. Being the capital and so small I knew people form all walks of life. Sadly I could not make many friends amongst the local people ,the reason I will give later.
No sooner I had some friends I was at the bars. In total there are three bars and you can see anybody and everybody in town there ,almost everyday.

My first impression of the local Inuit population was no better than my own people, poor and desperate. Wasn't this a first world country ? I was hounded by salesmen/women trying to sell local soapstone carvings , whale bone trinkets and myriad number of other things. Being a little typsy I was a bit sentimental to see an old,shriveled woman approach me with a polar bear carving. Why does she need to be a in Bar full of drunk people to earn a living ? Didn't she have anyone to take care of her? Wasn't the government giving her old age pension ?

I voiced my concerned to a friend who snickered and said " Wait and watch".

Lo and behold in a while she was sitting right next to us chugging on a beer can ,having earned a few dollars selling some of her art. The pension was not meant for drinking.
I did not have wait much before I saw a whole lot of local people staggering and swearing at each other. That was the point where they were singled out and removed from the bar. It wasn't a good impression and my friend explained to me that alcoholism was rampant and though the govt tried to limit the abuse it was still affecting the entire community. They simply were not made to consume alcohol. Two beers down they would suddenly lose their senses . How could they ? for centuries they had been hunting to survive.

They had never heard of brewing . It was too cold for any kind of yeast to have survived thus no alcohol.
It was only during the past 40 years that they have been exposed to the so called Modern way of living !!! a culture does not change over night.

To be continued in a few days ........

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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

5000 years of Indian Civilization

We gather at the Wiseguys pretty much everyday ! The discussions mostly revolve around the conspiracy that the pharmaceutical companies are hatching to rob the world of cheap ,traditional, medicines and replace them with their products. Or the Americans holding the world at ransom and how they think their way of life is the benchmark for all forms of life ! Inadvertently the discussions would turn to India . I am the object of curiosity as the only dark skinned guy sitting amongst a bunch of drunk white men expressing his opinion. Usually Indians abroad do not mingle with the other races and if one is seen in a pub definitely he won't be the only one and must be sitting in one corner away from the lime light.

My friend, Dan, is a former Marine and has seen the world and surprisingly he knows quite a lot about India. Specially about Indian medicine! so he says " You know Sanjay , your culture is 5000 years old, you guys are some cool cats"! yeah I have heard that before especially from Indians when they are cornered about their culture... "Ours is a 5000 years old culture" meaning we cannot be wrong !

Any how Dan rambles on about live 52 , Brahmi, Ashwagandha, Chawanprash ...and I keep raising my eye brows ! Certainly I did not expect a Polish Canadian man to know all that stuff which the Indians themselves do not know, well many of them !

One day someone raised the issue of untouchables, which touched my spine. I have been there before ! And I had no answers !

"I heard that members of a higher caste would not give water to a lower caste man!!" Some one said !

"Umm uhhh ...yea ....ah ..well its not like that ..actually it happens in the villages ..not in the cities" ...

"But isn't that where most of India lives?"...

I cannot deny statistics ! This is where I remember all those posts on rediff about 5000 years of Civilization ...

so someone quipped "5000 thousand years of culture" ..

I sometimes think should I just say " These people don't respect my culture so I should not stay here and return to India?" ...thats most unreasonable Indians would say .."If they are insulting you then why do you live there?" .

Hmmm .. Am I really insulted on something I myself am not proud of ?


5000 years of Indian civilization and we have an amazing system where Religious riots kill thousands every year. People are denied basic human rights of being an equal human without being insulted or branded like an animal in a farm (Caste). Women first tow their parents line and then their husbands'. They are like a commodity ! A corrupt system which is putting 95% of economy into the pockets of 5 % of the population and the rest live on hand to mouth and still we have the pride of 5000 years of civilization. and Oh! yes the US visa is fine !!! I am moving soon but where I don't yet know !


Definitely its that old ..and its too old it needs some repairs!!!


Sunday, August 29, 2010

What makes a man risk his life ? Ever smelled death ? Its a kind of thrilling and probably thats what man thrives on. With my Cessna 150 hurtling down towards the tarmac with a 30 degree nose dive at 85 KPH ( 1 Knot = 1.1508 miles) I thought I am going to crash for a moment.But then the instinct to survive kicks in and I level the aircraft to a cruise attitude, without me realizing it, and I feel a small thud under the fuselage and I am rolling on the runway. Was it a sense of relief ? I don't recall but I was sweating like a pig even though the humidity in Toronto is not that high now. One small error and one is dead . But its been an erring life all through out so this makes no difference.

Another day to live.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Today's editon in the Dawn newspaper Javed Naqvi wrote about GNH. Gross National happiness. I have not been to Bhutan but I hear that the GNH in there is pretty high. Must be.
Television came there just a few years ago. And till then what were they doing ? probably watching the Moon creating ghostly figures on the Himalayas. whatever makes you happy!

I remember ,as a child, how intrigued I was with the Star trek serial that I would give up playing cricket to watch it on sundays. and before that I would play cricket on sundays ! My Ma was definitely happy that I was home on sundays instead of picking up a fight elsewhere. GHH (Gross Home Happiness) was higher with the arrival of the TV.
Today children don't play anymore. They watch the saas bahu serial. Theres no Star Trek any more. The more "Firangi" parents have encouraged their kids to watch 'zee cafe' cause it airs "Friends". Kids don't go out of home anymore and the GHH should be even higher !

But Alas ! these kids talk a lingo thats out of my preception. and they have become fatter.
What happens if theres a war between China and India or pakistan and India ? No one is going to defend our country cause we will have a GNH higher than that of Bhutan that we will not bother to go to the front. After all we are racing every one! we beat the Pakistanis in their consumerism and we will beat the Chinese in their achivement of the fastest train and Bhutan in their GNH!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Who's God !

Babu is a ‘Malabari’. That’s what everyone says. Malabari is a derogatory word for Muslim people of the Malabar Coast in Kerala. Why derogatory? As my boss in Dubai would put it “ They are a pack of wolves who arrive here and then devour all the jobs.”. It seems that if you pick up a fight with one of these people, you may find staring into the fists of a dozen of them in a matter of minutes, virtually speaking. Also if you ask any of them where they were from they would promptly say “ Kerala.” And if you ask “Where is Kerala?” they would reply, with a long pause “ India.” The rest of the Indians in the gulf resented this answer so the colloquial term.

Babu arrived in Abu Dhabi about 16 years ago as a tenth grade pass with little knowledge of anything else other than to look for a job as a helping hand in some shop or construction site or whatever he could find. He did not come here with any other dream though he thought being in the Middle East he will gain the riches just as his cousins flaunt whenever they visited their small hamlet on the sea side back in Kerala. The gold chain, the perfumes, the Stereo set and that Yashica Camera! They all worked in cafes or washed dishes in restaurants or worked in small shops as attendants.

When he finally landed in the Gulf, his ideas about the riches changed. He found that those flashy things that his cousins showed did not just pop up from the sands with a gesture of a hand. They had to toil hard and ration their expenditure to save so much. He took it with a pinch of salt and landed a job with Hiralal Patel, the owner of a grocery store on Hamdan Street.

Hiralal came to Abu Dhabhi as a foreman 30 years ago in some construction site and when the contract was over he chose to stay behind and open a grocery store . He opened a small shop on Hamdan street with whatever saving he had.

Hiralal is from Valsad in Gujrat. Later he married and had two sons. One of them were working in a bank and the other working with a car rental company. Both of them were married and had a kid each. They were so much comfortable in Abu Dhabi that they called it home rather than their ancestral home in Valsad .

Like most Gujratis, he too had business in his blood and like all Gujratis he would open his shop and perform the ritual of lighting exactly 5 sticks of incense and wave them over the picture of the goddess of money, Laxmi, While mumbling something. He would then do the same over his cash register and finally towards the heavens. He was never late in opening his shop dot at 9 am he would be at the steps of his shop. Babu would be waiting there for him to arrive. He was never late either, half an hour before his employer arrived. As Hiralal went about with his ritual, Babu would dust the cabin where his boss conducted his business from. He would then go on with his routine work.

Over the years Babu had gained a lot of trust of his employer. After a few years of working with him Hiralal handed over a duplicate key to the store to Babu. He was now entrusted to open the store and keep the cabin ready before Hiralal came to office. And even later in time Babu was given the previous day’s income to deposit in the bank near by in the late morning. Slowly he even took control of the desk on which Hiralal conducted his business in his absence.

Like all other Muslim employees Babu would be given the customary three times prayer breaks. Diligently Babu followed the prescribed format of performing his prayer routine.
He would get his obligatory Id holidays and the Prophet’s birthday and the sundry. And he would enjoy his leave on the Hindu festival days when Hiralal would shut shop. Hiralal never invited any of his Muslim employees, of which there were ten, to his home during those festivals or Pujas he had at his house for the simple reason that he believed that they would not be interested or even they might take offence, that was his fear.
He never did anything religious in his shop other that waving the incense sticks over the small picture of Godess Laxmi, hidden under his desk.




Vineet, is a class mate from my Kolkata days in Hotel college. He came here as a consultant of a large Baking establishment. One of the outlets of his bakery was in the same building where Babu worked. The twelve story building housed all kinds of shops on the ground floor and there were residential flats from the first floor to the topmost floor. Unlike the swanky buildings that have swimming pools and Jacuzzis on the roof and where the tenants are so secretive that you don’t even realize that there is some else on the same floor as yours unless you happen to be in the same lift, this building had a rustic charm that you find in the small towns of India. People knew each other! They talked and they were neighbors.

Shifting in and out of shared accommodation , Vineet finally found refuge of a decent kind as a paying guest of a Pakistani family, of which I will tell you later, in the same building that the bakery outlet he managed and Hiralal’s shop was housed. The family had no one else other than a middle aged man and his old father living in a flat.His wife and children were living in Pakistan.To supplement their income they sought a paying guest who would not be cooking and found Vineet to be a perfect flat mate. Eventually finding that these were normal human beings, not monsters from a different planet, he settled down comfortably.

As inevitable Vineet would often run into Hiralal and of course Babu. They would discuss about rising prices and family back at home and whatever they struck a conversation about. Often Vineet would visit Hiralal’s shop and sit at his table and chat with him. In the morning he would observe Hirlal’s ritual performance. He would take notice of Babu and his friends going to the mosque for prayers. Sometimes he would join for lunch too.

Once a year Hiralal would make his yearly journey to Valsad for a quick vacation of fifteen days. And during this time one of his family members ,usually his sons or an old friend would run the shop taking turns. Every morning during this period Ratan ,Hiralal’s youger son, would come to the shop and repeat the ritual that his father performed infront of the cash resgistera and the Godess . But Babu would be at the forefront of conducting the business activity with the others keeping a light vigil on the business. He would call up buyers and sellers ,keep the accounts while never forgetting to dust the cabin but he never sat on the same chair as his employer. When Hiralal was back from his vacation Babu would diligently hand over every detail of the business that went on during his absence. And never once it happened that Hiralal doubted him. He was a trusted worker.



It was December 2006 when the news arrived that Hiralal’s mother died in Valsad. Everyone in the Patel family had to attend her funeral. It would take about fifteen days to return back. The dilemma was whether to close the shop for those many days or rely upon someone to take care . Whom could they trust so much in complete absence of the family? Hiralal finally decided to keep the business going, give charge to Babu and ask a friend if he would look after the shop whenever he could and left for India.

Vineet was up early morning a few days later and decided to take a walk to the nearby park which he hardly ever did. He sat in the park for some time. It was about half past eight in the morning and he had to get ready to be at office by nine thirty. He got up and made his way towards home. As he climbed the first few steps of the building he noticed someone in Grocery store performing the Puja that Hiralal did every morning. Curious if Hiralal was back or did his son not attend the funeral he descended the steps and entered the shop. To his amazement he saw Babu holding five smoking incense stick in his hands making circular motions in front of the small picture of the Goddess Laxmi with his eyes closed and mumbling something. Shocked Vineet stood there for sometime while Babu , with his eyes still closed repeated the gestures over the cash register and towards the heaven. Then opening his eyes, Babu saw Vineet in front of him . With an embarrassed look on his face. He could only mutter “ Sir, you need something ?”

“No ,I mean , I thought Hiralalji was back”. He replied. The with a pause he asked
“Aren’t you a Muslim ?”
“Yes sir. You are asking me why am I doing this Hindu thing when I am a Muslim?”
“Hmm” Vineet nodded his head unsure if he had started a wrong conversation.

“Sir, I have worked here for fifteen years. When my father was ill Hiralalji gave me money for his treatment. He did not see whether I was Muslim or something else. When my cousins would not help me get a job I came here almost begging and he gave me this job” said Babu while he picked up a crate of oranges and started arranging them in neat rows on the shelves.

“I am earning because of this business which Hiralalji has kept running and I have seen him do this everyday. I believe his God has given him his bread and butter. He should not be ignored while he is not here. So I do the same.” He looked up at Vineet.his eyes were placid and his expression was one of a sage.

“I will do this till my employer comes back and takes over. It does not matter whether I go to the mosque or a temple it a respect to my employer belief. It does not change my religion.” Said he resuming his chore.

Vineet was in a daze. Never in his life, he had ever thought he would see this.

“But do you know what you were mumbling?”
“No Sir, I believe He will understand my language.”

Monday, April 13, 2009

North and South

I have a colleague who always rants about how people from the south are more passionate and considerate.

"If you see someone driving rashly, 8 out of 10 times it would be a car with a Delhi or UP number plate or may be the guy is from Delhi and driving a Karnataka registered car" He says.

Quite a statement!

My only hangout in Bangalore is the Forum mall. The PVR and the Landmark are the only two places I visit during the weekends. To get there you have to take the road towards the seventh block in Koramangala. This road seems to have a perennial source of traffic.During the first days of arrival in Bangalore, I tried to abide by the rules,taking the zebra crossings to cross the street.

I would hold up my hand and take a step only to find honking cars stepping on the gas.I would retreat and try again. Frustrated with the futility of my attitude to abide by the rules I gave up. Instead I started looking for a gap in the oncoming stream of cars and bikes and when I got the slightest ray of hope of making my trip , I would dart across the road only to find being honked at from the other side of the road.

So much so for North and South wasn't it the same case in Delhi and Bangalore ?

But I did not hear the curse that I would usually get if I was caught in the same situation in Delhi. Probably there is a difference.

This morning when I was taking the same road to the Bank to get some statements, I saw two blind men standing by the bus stop a few yards away,apparently trying to cross the road. My heart went out to them. I , having an enabled visionary capability, could find the task of crossing this road such a life threatening experience, what would they face ?

A good Samaritan probably felt the same and volunteered to help the two hapless men across the street.

He held one of the two men by his right hand and with his left he signalled the oncoming traffic to be a little considerate of their hurry to make towards the slipping end of their world, while the other man held on the first one like a daisy chain.

Sweet surprise !! The cars and bikes obliged. They slowed down to a stop and gave way only one of them honked ! Was he from the North ? I don't have any idea. "All Indians look the same." That's what some of my Chinese friends told me while I was in Dubai.

I at that moment had a Deja vu. Albeit with a twist.

I was in Delhi two years ago trying to do the same thing. I was at a signal where the road from Paharganj intersected the circular road in Cannought Circle trying to cross the street towards the Metro station. The signal across the street for the pedestrians was going from red to green and green to red but none of the rush of buses,cars bikes and cycles would stop to give a glance at the Red light in front of them. After some three cycles of the phenomenon I felt someone tugging at my shirt!

"Bhaiyya mujhe rasta par kara do..."

A Blind man and an old one for that ! I felt like saying .. "Baba apko kya paar kara doon ...mere khud ke lale pade hain!" but I refrained. Perhaps I am not so inconsiderate. I said... "Jaroor, traffic bahot hai par koshish karte hain"...

Holding his left arm I used my right to signal that I wished to cross the street to the gentlemen hurtling their mode of transport towards me. The signal in fornt of me was green so I saw no harm in taking the plunge onto the zebra crossing,which I think was painted a century ago.

A Blue line bus, the leader of the pack of racers, screeched to halt and so did a few more vehicles after him.

"Ma....., marna hai kya?"

Something in my head snapped. First I never took abusive language and that too when I was not at the wrong side of deeds. Second I was trying to help a blind man.

"Dikhta nahin hai kya .? " I pointed towards the green light across his side,seething inside.

He took one glance at the thing I was pointing to.

"Abe teri to...." He made a movement as if to get down from the bus and dim the living day lights out of me. That moment I had a strange feeling in me! I cannot describe it.

As I was afraid of my status on earth, I simply hurried across pulling along the blind man with me. I did not look back. I let the blind man's hand go and was rude enough not to have reassured my old companion of the small adventure on the streets of Delhi that he was safely across the jungle.

Probably there is a difference or perhaps there can be an error of judgement, not quantifiable with random acts!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

SAVINGS

If you walk towards the south west on the Barkagaon road in Hazaribagh you cannot miss the Tamarind Mansion or “Imli Kothi” as we called it . It’s an enormous, ruined, palatial house. There is no paint on the exteriors; the gate is rusty and crumbling. The once heart shaped lawn is overgrown with wild grass and there is no more the rose garden that surrounded it. What are left are tall overgrown bushes. Formally it was the regional office of Indian Bureau of Mines, my dad’s office.

If you try to peek over the high walls you cannot really judge the vastness of the adjoining property around it. The Mansion itself must have got about 60 to 70 rooms with high ceilings and about a 100 acres of unattended gardens and forests encompassing it. I have explored every part of it! The mansion belonged to Deepak Mitra. No one lives there any more.

It’s haunted! That’s what they say.

Mitra was the only son of a very successful Barrister during the British Raj. He had two sisters both settled in the US and would visit once in every two years. A very soft spoken , an articulate speaker and an avid reader Mitra was an intriguing creature. He never showed any emotions and stayed a recluse for most of his life. His library had books that even my school did not have! Books form the late 1800‘s were stacked neatly around his library on wooden shelves and must have been worth a fortune in today’s market. Mitra though was tolerant of my mischievous acts he would not let me take any of those books out of the library. Otherwise I could do anything I wanted, I could climb any tree, break any branch, dig up the rose garden et all and would not be reprimanded. He would call Shushil , his all purpose helping hand, and ask him to fix up whatever disassembling I had done. He once got very upset when I tore a page out of an ancient pictorial dictionary because I liked the paper. It was soapy in texture and I wanted to show it to chanu, my partner in crime!

Dad was friends with Mitra . Not without a reason though. He made the monthly checks for the mansion he rented out to IBM. So he had to be good to dad. Every week there would be a lavish party on the first floor and the who’s who of the town would be seen with champagne glasses being nice and well mannered paying just about all attention to Mitra.

Dad would be invited to those parties every last week of the month. Being a man of humble roots Dad felt out of place and would not attend but he would make sure that the rental checks were made on time. Dad knew that was his only income.

It was not his only income till his sisters found out that he was selling the land surrounding the mansion and else where and came down from the US. They put litigation against him as they claimed they were rightful partners in the ownership of the property. Even though his father left him a fortune in cash he did not have the ownership of the estate entirely. By that time the litigation was filed his cash reserves were empty. More so the rent was to be divided into three and deposited into their respective bank accounts, so was the instruction given to the office by the court till the case was settled. The superficial buyers of the already sold land were peeved off and once when Mitra left alone in his 1920’s Austin, he was beaten up black and blue by some unidentified gooneys. I saw him nervous and shaking the next day, pacing up and down the gravel filled driveway like a caged dog! When asked to go to the police he drew a blank. With a swollen left cheek and appeared as a mongoloid by his left eye he was swearing to take revenge even though he knew he had no way of doing that. “Uncouth, daemons, pests in this society….” He fumed not so much out of rage rather out of shame. So the frequency of his parties dwindled and slowly the dotting friends disappeared from his life. He was left alone. Over the months he became a recluse, refused to meet anyone. Dad came to his rescue at this point. He made sure that the rent checks went on time and sometimes gave him cash advance at his own risk. He even got a bootlegger to deliver alcohol to Mitra’s house on credit.

“Poor thing !” He would say “He won’t be sleeping unless he has had his bottle”.

Through the evenings into the late nights you could see Mitra sitting on the graveled driveway on his trusted recliner with a glass in his hands staring skywards. He would sometimes fall asleep in the recliner and in the morning wet with the dew dripping from his body. Shushil would sometimes wake him up in the middle of the night and take him inside the house. Dad got quite close to him in those days. He would often be requested to stay back after office to give some “company” to Mitra. Though dad never had alcohol in this life he was too gentle a person to refuse such kind of a request. So he kept just the company.


This went on till the bootlegger refused to supply anymore alcohol. Mitra owed him quite a lot by now. The bootlegger tried coaxing the money out of Mitra and when the tricks did not work he simply chopped down two huge sesame trees from the acres of forest around the mansion to recover his money. When Mitra came to know of this he was quite jubilant! He just got an idea to create some wealth! All went well. The trees kept vanishing and Mitra’s liquid diet was filled with the bouquet of the finest scotch!

One fine day I found the gravel driveway give away to a beautiful heart shaped lawn! Mitra ordered a rose garden with some 100 varieties of roses to be built around the lawn and the lawn itself to be of ‘Australian carpet grass’ . In just a few weeks the mansion smelled of exquisite roses. I loved rolling on the soft spongy grass over and over again. Then came trouble in the form of Forest officials at his door. One more case against him was all he needed!

No more cash and desperate for alcohol he started selling books to local shopkeepers who would use the pages to pack spices and condiments for customers. When I saw this, I could not help but ask “Uncle why are you giving the books to the shopkeepers? I want them.” Of course I was too small to understand the gravity of his situation. One night while we were having dinner we found shushil calling out for dad at the door. Dad went out and after a while came back in, took out some money and gave it to shushil. When ma asked what was that for dad said “Oh! Shushil needed some money”. Dad being a petty clerk could not do that often and explained to Mitra about his inability to help him monetarily. One day Mitra came up with an ingenious idea! He explained to dad that alcohol was problem it was becoming a bad habit. “I want to quit, But then I am unable to sleep.” and when dad asked what he thought the solution was , Mitra promptly asked him to request Rehman, the local pharmacist , to give him some sleeping pills so that he could sleep till the time he got rid of the habit of drinking. Dad being a man known for his gentle nature could request Rehman explaining the facts and Mitra was confident that he won’t be refused. After some initial resistance to giving such prescribed drugs, Rehman agreed, but with a condition that in any event of abuse he should not be involved.


Every evening Shushil would cycle to the pharmacy to collect the pills. Without dad’s knowledge the quantity increased from 10 pills a day to twenty. In a few more months it increased to 40.

“Sir, it is unbelievable!” Shushil would tell my dad. “Even after taking 40 tablets of Calmpose , Saheb will not sleep till 1 o’ clock in the morning! And even if he does he is up at 5 in the morning”. Apparently a normal adult will die if he took more than 50 mg of Calmpose. But Mitra was made of tough matter. When the request for 60 tabs was made Rehman refused. So the daily supply was constant at 40 tabs.

At around ten years of age I did not understand anything other than that Mitra had a collection of books which I would like to have and that forest in his backyard were awesome to explore. During dinner ma and dad would discuss various things and more than often it would include Mitra. Even though I understood nothing of it , the audio retention capacity of my brains was phenomenal . Years later when I sat ruminating my childhood I would replay those conversations. Mitra was not to be blamed for his misdemeanor. Probably fate and his own convictions got him to where he was.

Being brought up in an aristocrat family Mitra was packed to St Paul’s Boarding school in Darjeeling, which only the rich could afford and boast about. Once in a year he would be back from school and would not find his father for days. Whatever time he saw him he was either with clients or busy with his cases. This brought a kind of melancholy nature in him.

He would crave for attention and yet no one had time for him as usual in such Noble families. And it was not a norm to cuddle or pamper one’s own child in an aristocrat family. That job was left to the servants! Probably the Bengalis of those days borrowed the culture from the British. His sisters were way too older than him to take notice and by the time he was 10 or 12 both were married and had crossed the continents.


Right after he completed his ten years of education it was already decided that he was going to Oxford for his graduation, but till he got his intermediate certificate he had to find a good college. The options were either Calcutta or Ranchi. Mitra opted for St Xavier’s College, Ranchi, as it was just a three hours drive from home. In those days women attending college were of rare find. They were may be 2 per 100 men. And it was Mitra’s destiny to have his fate bound to one of the two!


Dad never mentioned the girl’s name. He referred to her as “that girl” or “ one girl”. So I would call her Pandora! That’s exactly the Box what Mitra opened when “that Girl” came and introduced herself to Mitra. Mitra fell for her and it was a hard fall. Within a few months of striking the friendship with her he would do anything in the world for her. He would be dotting on her for every little thing .If she was borrowing books from the library Mitra got the whole library bought for her, quite literally. If there was one dress that she liked he got her a whole wardrobe, though she never took any of them with the promise that she would wear all of them once they were married! How could she explain the dresses to her parents? If she liked to eat something he would be ready to buy the restaurant for her! Mitra described everything to dad when he sat with him in the dark of the evenings when he would be drunk and dwelling in his past. Sometimes he would sob and repeat “ Why me, why me ?” When dad saw things out of control he would call Shushil and take him to his bedroom. Sometimes he would say “You know Samadder babu , people think I am an uncouth! I am a rascal. What do they know why I am like this. I am ready to trade lives. Take mine and I will take yours”. He used to quip “You know if a Cobra takes a dig at me I won’t die cause the snake will. I have so much of poison in me.”

Nearing completion of his intermediate college it was time for him to put forth his priorities in front of Mitra senior. He was so confident of his father’s desultoriness towards him that he thought it would be a matter of minutes when he would wave his hand and say “You have my permission, you need not bother asking”. It happened the other way. Mitra senior sat up straight upon hearing his son’s decision to marry a commoner. Apparently the girl’s father was a forest official working in Ranchi and was of North Bihari decent, measly people compared to the Mitra dynasty. The prestige issue was of such high propensity that the senior Mitra was ignited with insult. He made a stern announcement that no matter what happened he would not let the family name be tarnished. Shocked by the turn of events Mitra initially had no clue as to what he should do .But finally something pushed him to stand up for himself and declared that he did not want his father’s property nor his name and walked out of home.

“The thought of being a pauper never occurred to me, I thought I had my life waiting for me back in Ranchi , and that’s all I needed.” Mitra was sobbing uncontrollably one day. Dad could do nothing but listen silently, feeling a bit perplexed himself.

For four months there was no news of Mitra. The father thought of his son as a weakling who can only depend on his money. It was true of course. Mitra junior had no skill-set other than depend on his father. How he lived all those four months he never told anyone. But four months on, his father definitely started relenting of sorts, for he dispatched an entourage of his people to hunt him down with a message of a conditional acceptance that as long as the girl stays within the limit of the Mitra way of life he could bring her home. Mitra came back home, alone! His father’s men found him and delivered his message. There was no girl but her shadow did arrive at the Tamarind mansion!

He never ever mentioned that girl to his family again. Everything was obscure. No one knew what happened and what Mitra wanted. Senior Mitra was too filled with pride to ask his son. Junior Mitra was too remorseful to say anything. He became moody and started to have his whimsical ways with everyone. Sometimes he would go out for long drives and not return for days without any information of his whereabouts. He would donate huge amounts of money to charity. He would do yoga. Quite a few times he expressed his willingness to marry. Proposals were sent out far and near. People came to see him from US and Europe. The local proposals were not entertained! He visited the proposed brides and each time he retuned back without saying a word to anyone.
“You know Samadder babu, I tried every possible madness to get her or forget her. I am still trying”. He would confide in my dad. He had her address to which he wrote almost everyday begging her to come back. He never got a single reply for 20 years. He went to Ranchi countless number of times and sat in his car in front of her house for hours hoping to catch a glimpse of her. He never saw her again. What happened in those four months I came to know much later when I asked my dad once reflecting back on those days.


When Mitra went back to Ranchi denouncing his father and his money, in his heart he carried only his love and knew everything else will be fine if she was with him. But Fate had something else for him. When he reached her house, her dad was there to greet him. After the introduction, which went quite amicably, Mitra poured his heart out of his desire to have a home with his daughter. Society in those days, and even today, knew of only parent power, duty was only for children to fulfill. Parents were there to reap the benefit of their enjoyment they had 20 years or so ago! Love without marriage was a sin especially if it was between different communities. And communities were like air tight canisters as if to preserve food of customs. Parents would die of shame. Marriage was for the society not for individuals.

Mitra was to face the cruelty of the vindictive society. The girl was called and then he heard what he had never imagined. “What is he saying?” The fiery eyes of her father bent her conscience.

“ ‘This guy has been after me since I went to college. I have told him that I am not interested in him’, ‘are you mad?’ that’s exactly what she said, Samadder babu, I never had the courage to tell my father about this.” Mitra had told my dad

“I sat there with my eyes to the ground, I did not know what to say.” Dad told me.

“For the last 20 days Saheb has not slept at all, may be an hour or two every night. I have been watching him.” Shushil was telling dad one evening while returning back from the pharmacy. “I feel something bad is going to happen”.

Two days later Mitra was found dead, frothy mouthed, in his recliner. Beside him were 40 empty sheets of Calmpose tablets, 400 tablets in all. He went through with 20 days of sleeplessness to save those. A life time of savings !